A little Rum Punch, then...

On the island of no worries, I thought the idea of “over indulging” was null and void. From my experience, the all-inclusive resorts I’d been to didn’t have drinks that could put you under unless you had at least 9 of them. However, day 3 of my week long vacation, I decided it was time to really enjoy the perks of The Grand Palladium Resort and Spa. After spending a few hours laid out on the beach, I decided to drag my brother to the pool bar. He’s not much of a drinker, but it’s Jamaica and “no worries” right? I don’t know who I thought I was when I sat down at that bar, but my inner party girl activated and I learned really quickly there was indeed such a thing as over indulging on this island. Let me start from the beginning...

87 degree weather, cool blue water and a couple of drinks before lunch sound like a great way to capitalize relaxation. I enjoyed a delicious breakfast from the resort breakfast bar, accompanied with a pineapple mimosa with a pool and ocean view.

Prior to that mimosa, I had not been taking full advantage of the unlimited drinks I had access too. I felt like this Wednesday, it was time to get my money’s worth. After getting my end of summer tan on the beach,I made my way to the shaded area by the pool. The Grand Palladium had waiters coming by frequently to take drink orders. I decided I’d enjoy a Rum Punch in the shade before dragging my brother to the pool bar. One drink down 8 more to go… or so I thought. I ordered another Rum Punch once we sat down at the bar and said to the bartender “ do you have any specialty drinks? I like sweet and strong”. She smiled and told me there was one she thought I’d enjoy. I smiled back and told her “make me two” and slid her a tip. The bartender walked away and whispered to the other bartender who then turned to me and gave me a smile that told me I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I looked at her as if she had no idea who I was and kept sipping my Rum punch. The bartender returned with both of my specialty drinks and my brother looked at me as if I were crazy. “Live a little” I told him and danced to the music while enjoying my drink. My brother and I sat there until I finished all 3 drinks, then we made our way to an empty area of the pool. At this moment I realized, I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

Relaxing in the pool, I couldn’t understand how I was sitting in cool water, AND sweating. “Hot as hell” is the only way to explain the heat wave I was experiencing. I dunked myself in the water a few times, and to my suprise, no relief. I decided to get out of the pool. No sooner than I got out of the water, my “alcohol bladder” kicked into gear. I tried to get into my sandals as quickly as I could and started running toward our suite. Before I knew it, my body and the ground were getting acquainted. Yes, my wet feet and shiny sandals worked together in my demise. I fell out of my sandals in front of everyone at the pool. Thankfully, I had to use the bathroom too bad to care. Once I made it back to our suite, the alcohol took me over completely. I needed to lie down. However, I needed to wash the sand and chlorine off. I got in the shower and sat on the floor letting the water run on me until I found the strength to stand. That strength did not come until after I woke up. YES, I was STILL in the shower. I figured I had been out for at least 10 minutes. I cleaned myself up and crashed on the couch in my towel. 20 minutes later, I heard housekeeping knock on the door and come in. “Ma’am, we need to come in! There’s water all in the hall coming from inside of your room!” I yelled for her not to come in because I was in a towel. I grabbed all the towels from the bathroom and dropped them on top of the water then continued my nap. I heard my mom come in with housekeeping at some point during my nap. I didn’t move. Lol

After sleeping off whatever the hell was in those drinks that bartender gave me, I woke up well rested and ready for the world. However, my mom was staring at me. “How the hell did u flood the room?” I was so confused because when I looked around, there was obviously no water on the floor. “Excuse me? I did what now?” Apparently during my shower nap, I was sitting on top of the drain and all of the water started to run onto the floor and out into the hall. I gathered that nap I thought was 10 minutes long had to be much longer. “You don’t drink shit else the rest of the trip” she told me. The way that day went, I didn’t want anything else to drink. All in all, I did exactly what I set out to do that day; get my money’s worth. lol However, I did NOT go back to the pool bar for the remainder of my trip. I refused to face the bartender who was sending warning facials my way that I refused to acknowledge. My advice for anyone wanting to test out the strength of the drinks at any resort, START WITH ONE, not 3. lol

Stay tuned for a complete resort review...